Sack Jokes / Recent Jokes
She is proud because he has been staying away from the bars for 3 months. But suddenly, she realizes she forgot the escargot. Just as he comes home, she asks him to go get some at the store to finish her wonderful candlelight dinner. She says she'll make it worth his while. So off he goes to the fresh market, and buys a dozen live snails. But on the way home, his friends fall out of the bar and see him with his paper sack, and call to him, "Come on, George! Come have a drink on us!" "No," says George. "I must get these fresh escargot home." "Oh, come on, Georgie old boy. Just one for old times sake." Well, George is weak, and agrees to just one. Then another. Then a third. After too many, he sees his paper sack and feels sorry for his lapse, and heads home. Just as he is walking up to his driveway, he falls and spills the contents onto the cement, and his wife opens the door to see what all the commotion is. "George, what is going on? What more...
There were three ladies. A blonde, a burrnett and a red head. These three women were runing from the cops so they went and hid in a barn. The burrnett hid in a chichen suite, the red head hid in the cow suite, and the blonde hid in an empty potatoe sack. the cops then came in and kicked the chicken suite and the burrnett went cluck, cluck, cluck. so the cops moved on, they moved to the cow suite, they then kicked it . the red head went moooooooooooo. Then they kicked the sack of potatoes and the blonde went pootttaaatttoooeeesss.
My grand-daddy worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a young fella, and he used to tell me, when I was a little nipper, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the hard work of blacksmithing.One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. As he told it, he would stand outside behind the wood shed, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out from his sides and hold them there as long as he could.After awhile he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than two full minutes... Then, he started putting potatoes in the sacks...DOH!
In the days of the Berlin Wall, there was a little old man who crossed the checkpoint every week, pushing his bicycle and carrying a heavy sack. The border guard, suspecting him of smuggling, always searched the sack thoroughly but never found anything worthwhile. One day, after the wall came down, the guard ran into the little old man.
"Look, I just know you were smuggling something all those years but I could never prove it," said the guard. "Tell me what it was."
The little old man chuckled, "Bicycles."
A blonde, brunette, and a red head were driving in a car and ran a stop sign. A police officer seen them and immediately started chasing them. The girls ran from the police and when they got a long wayz away from the police they saw 3 potato sacks on the side of the road. They all got out and each got in a potato sack. When the cops came and they seen the empty car and the three potato sacks, they went over and kicked each one. The first one they kicked was the brunette and she said ruff ruff. The cops thought it was a bag of puppies and went to the next bag. This was the red head and when they kicked this one she said meow. They thought it was just a bag of kittens and went to the next bag. This was the blonde and when they kicked the bag she said potato!!!
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, Ill give you both of em!"
There were three girls in a car. One was a redhead, A brunet& a blonde. They were driving down a highway. then a police officer started to follow them(they were speeding). they later saw an old abandoned house and they went inside. The officer came in and saw three patatoe sacks on the floor.He kicked the one with the redhead and she said"meow meow"." Oh it is just a sack of kittens". then he kicked the third sack and the Brunet said"ruff ruff". "oh it is just a sack of puppies".Then he kicked the sack with the blonde in it and she said"potatoes potatoes!"