Rose Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, ''Mummy, why is my name Petal?'' the mother replied ''Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next baby walked up and asked, ''Mummy why is my name Rose?'' She replied, ''Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.'' The last baby walked up to her and said ''BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, ''Shut up Fridge.''

One elderly couple is visiting another for supper. The two women go into the kitchen for a moment, leaving the men to talk.
One of the men says to the other, "The Mrs. and I went to the nicest restaurant last night."
"Is that right?" the other inquires, "What was it called?"
"That's just it," he replies "I can't recall. "Say, what's the name of that red flower that has thorns all over it?"
"A rose?" he responds.
"YEAH, THAT'S IT!" he says energetically.
He then whirls around and yells into the kitchen, "Hey, Rose! What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night!?"

A man has three daughters between the ages of 3 and 7.
The oldest daughter comes up to the father and asks, "Dad, why am I named Rose?"The father responds by saying "Because on the day you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."The next day the middle daughter asked the father, "Daddy, why am I called Daisy?"The father again responded by saying "Because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."An hour went by and the youngest daughter was screaming gibberish.The father looked up at her and yelled, "Shut up, Brick!"

A man who was once a great actor found he had a serious problem, he could no longer remember his lines. After many years of searching, he finally found a theatre where they were willing to give him a chance to shine again.
"This is the most important part of the play," the director said, "and it consists of only one line. You must walk onto the stage carrying a rose. You must hold the rose to your nose with only one finger and your thumb, sniff it deeply, and then recite the line... 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress'."
The actor was thrilled. For the entire day prior to the play he practiced his line, over and over again. Finally, the big day came.
The curtain was raised and the actor walked onto the stage. With the greatest of passion, he delivered his line - "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
Suddenly, the audience burst into laughter and the director was fuming. "You damn fool!" cried the director. "You've ruined more...

There was a man who had memory loss. His wife got so fed up with him that she decided to take him to a doctor to help him remember things.
A few weeks later the man was out of the hospital and his wife felt he had made a big improvement.
A few days later they decided to celebrate so they invited their parents over for dinner. The man's father asked what the doctor's name was.
The man replied, "What's the name of that flower with a long stem and little thorns on it?"
His dad looked confused and said, "Rose?"
"Yes that's it... Hey, Rose... what's the name of my doctor?"

These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares" game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems like it sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does more...

At the hairdressers
Sadie and Rose were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat.
Sadie says, "So nu, Rose, how`s that daughter of yours?"
Rose replies, "She`s OK thanks. She married a fantastic man. He`s got such a good job in the City that she gave up her secretary`s job. She stays at home but never needs to cook, because he always takes her out, or clean the house, because he got her a maid, or worry about my 2 lovely grandchildren, because he got her a live-in nanny."
Sadie then asks, "And how`s your son?"
Rose replies, "His life is awful. He married a bitch from hell. She never cooks anything and makes him take her out to dinner every night. God forbid she should vacuum a carpet, so she made him get her a maid. He has to work like a dog because she refuses to get a job and she never takes care of my grandson because she made him get her a nanny."