Rocker Jokes

A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo reading, ''Keep off the grass.'' After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, ''Sorry, had to mow the lawn.''

A young punk rocker gets on a city bus and sits across from an elderly man.
The punker has a multitude of colors for hair, ranging from yellow to black. He also has fluffy feather earrings with the same bright colors as his hairdo. The old man begins to stare at him with intensity.
The punker yells over to the old man, "What's the matter old man, never do anything crazy when you were young?"
The old man replies, "I did one real crazy thing when I was 21 and all drunk." The punker asks what it was the old man did. The old man replies "I had relations with a parrot and I think you're my kid!"

La maitresse demande aux eleves de sa classe de CE1 ce qu'ils veulent faire comme metier lorsqu'ils seront grand:
"Moi je veut etre pompier madame!" reponds Jerome.
"C'est bien Jerome....et toi Mickael?"
"Moi je veux etre policier madame!"
"Ah!...Et toi Marjory?"
"Moi je veux etre maitresse comme vous maitresse!"
"C'est bien Marjory, c'est un tres joli metier..."
Puis elle se tourne vers Toto, au dernier rang, The Le Cancre de la classe:
"Et toi Toto?"
"Moi je veux etre grand rocker maitresse!"
"Ah...Et c'est quoi 'grand rocker' Toto?"
"Grand rocker, c'est le blouson en cuir, la moto, les salopes..." et PAFFFFF!!! Toto se ramasse une grande claque dans la gueule et se met a pleurer... A la fin de la journee, Toto rentre chez lui et raconte toute l'histoire a ses parents: "....et je lui ai dit que je voulait etre grand rocker et elle m'a more...

Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
A: Because he stapled himself to the chicken.

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, “I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York. ”
The next person says, “Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals. ”
The next guys says, “You dissed people with mental problems. ”
Rocker is shocked and says, “I didn’t say anything about people with mental problems! ”
The man smiles and says, “Now people think that all people with mental problems are racist and dumb. ”