Retire Jokes / Recent Jokes

A recent poll encourages Shane Mosley to retire on top, after his destructive victory over Antonio Margarito. For non-boxing fans, "retire" is an industry term for "wait until I'm bored, and demand more money."

Why did the astronaut retire?

A: He got spaced out!

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you all this time. These two beautiful twin daughters I have? They're clones. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
9) My fellow Americans, I have to admit to something. I accidentaly pushed the wrong button on my trip to the SAC base. Me being my red-necked self, I pushed the red button that sent off the missles to Russia. Say your prayers.
8) My fellow Americans, I have to ask one thing. What's a law?
7) My fellow Americans, we sadly admit that Mr. Cheney is no longer with us. After another heart attack, he has been forced to retire. I shall have to retire too, because without him I'm a lost cause.
6) Another thing to admit. Mr. Bush Sr., my father, is really my brother.
5) And my wife is really my mother.
4) My fellow Americans, I am a clone!!!
3) My fellow Americans, I have to tell you all something that happened back in November. I rigged the votes. It's been on my small hillbilly mind all this time. Gore really won, but don't more...

One Day this old doctor decided he wanted to retire but he would have to train the young doctor to do house calls. The first day was a training day for the young doctor. the old doctor took the young doctor to one of his house calls he told the young doctor before they entered that the women who lived here was 50 years old and had a belly ache. The old doctor walked up to the women in bed, and lisened to her belly. He told her to lay off the fruit. As the doctors left the young doctor ased the old doctor how he knew the old women had ate a lot of fruit, the old doctor replied, he stumbled into the trash can filled with apple peelings. The next day the old doctor said its your turn. The old women they went to see today was about 60 she was always tired. the young doctor looked at her and said she had been work for the church to long. When they left the Old doctor asked how he knew that. The young doctor replied, the sunday school books and the preacher under the bed. the old doctor more...