Quasimodo Jokes / Recent Jokes

Quasimodo advertises for a man to ring the bells. The next morning, a fellow comes in with no arms. "Are you kidding?" say Quasimodo. "I'm serious," the man says. "Please, just give me a chance." "Fine," says Quasimodo. "Ring the bells." After all, who is Quasimodo to discriminate against the handicapped? The man runs up the stairs, takes a flying leap, rings one of the bells with his head-boing!-and collapses in a heap. Then he picks himself up, runs up the stairs again, and rings a different bell-boing! On the third try, however, he misses the bell completely, flies out the window, and falls on the ground, dead. Immediately, a crowd gathers around the body. When Quasimodo comes out, they say to him, "Who was this man?" "I never knew his name," he replies, "but his face rang a bell." The following day another man applies for the job, and he, too, has no arms. "I had a guy come in yesterday, looked more...

After Quasimodo's death the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the more...

Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.
"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head.
BONG!!!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said...
"I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"

The day everyone dreaded had finally come - Quasimodo had died and the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame was in a quandry. Who would ring the bells now that Quasimodo was gone?
A message was sent throughout the streets of Paris that a bellringer was needed as soon as possible. The Bishop decided that he would personally interview each candidate for the position.
On the first day of receiving prospective personnel, he went up to the church belfry and left word below that all applicants would have to demonstrate their ability with the bells. After watching several people go through the motions, he was about to call it a day when a lone armless man approached him and announced he wanted the job.
The Bishop was amazed. "You have no arms!"
"It doesn't matter", said the man, "observe!"
He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop could not believe his eyes and ears and just as more...

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day - when an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job.

The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo.

Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop more...

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo got into a terrible argument.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not," said Quasimodo and Tom Thumb in unison.
"I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo.
"I am the ugliest person in the world," announced Quasimodo.
"No, you're not," said Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
They decided they needed a mediator in order to get along. Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, was the ideal choice. Merlin summoned the trio to his palace, where he met with them individually.
Sleeping Beauty entered first and emerged just a moment later, beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world. Merlin said so."
Tom Thumb was next. He returned just as quickly and declared, "I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin more...