Prosecutors Jokes

Contending that Bernard Madoff sent at least a million dollars worth of jewelry as gifts to family members and friends last month, federal prosecutors asked a judge on Monday to revoke his bail and send him to jail. Family and friends were delighted with the gifts until they discovered they had received cubic zirconia and fool's gold.

Ricky Lee Patterson and his mother, Carla Patterson, claimed they found the rodent during a Mother's Day meal at a Newport News Cracker Barrel in 2004.

Prosecutors charged the Pattersons with conspiracy to commit extortion after they demanded $500,000 from the restaurant.
An examination of the mouse found that it had died of a fractured skull, had no soup in its lungs and had not been cooked. Prosecutors said the findings suggested the rodent had been dropped into the customer's soup after it had died.
In the mother and son's honor, all Virgina jails will be serving mouse soup for the month of October. Mmm Mmm Good!

Senate Democrats are pressing their campaign to have White House political guru Karl Rove field questions before a congressional committee on the dismissal of eight federal prosecutors.

Rove, however, won’t agree to testify unless these guidelines are met:

1) He won’t testify under oath.
2) Democrats can’t ask Rove about the dismissal of the prosecutors.
3) If Charles Schumer asks any questions, he must do it in a high pitched Scottish brogue.
4) Rove won’t answer any questions until after the Vancouver Olympics.
5) There should be a water hose easily available, since Rove’s testimony will probably cause his pants go on fire.
6) Rove will only answer questions only after the last US troops leave Iraq
7) The Democrats agree to spot the Republican extra 250 electoral votes in the next election.
8) If Rove is convicted, then Scooter Libby serves his jail sentence.
9) Fox News gets exclusive rights to moderate and televise the more...