Passes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two priests are vacationing in Hawaii. They don't want to stand out, so they decide to buy casual clothes. They've just hit the beach in loud Hawaiian print T-shirts and sandals when they spot this hot blonde in a tiny bikini walking their way.

As she walks past them, she politely says, "Good afternoon, fathers." Well, the men are amazed, because they can't understand how the woman knew they were priests. They decide to go out and buy even wilder clothes, so they buy tie-died T-shirts, surfer shorts, and dark sunglasses.

The next day, they hit the beach in their wild new clothes, and the same blonde passes them in a string bikini. As she passes,

she says, "How do you do, fathers?"

Well, the two priests are really confused, so they ask the blonde, "Excuse me, ma'am. We're not ashamed of being priests, but how in the world did you know who we were?"

The blonde replies "Why, father, don't you more...

Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for ‘98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn’t find a quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.
Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km) an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window. “I’ve got to get this guy, ” Al says to himself, “He has the perfect arm! ”
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl.
The more...

A college student has just graduated and he wants a new car. So he goes out and gets a new nova, 690 horse power, that says it can do about 320mph. This kid with a new car and all decides to take it for a spin. He takes his bran new nova on the hiway and is doing about 100mph when he sees a stop light in the road. When he comes to a stop he sees an old man on a moped drive up next to him so he rolls down his window.
"Very nice nova, can I look inside?" asked the old man. In reply the student sais, "Sure... no prob". As the light turned green he rolled the window back up and decided to show the old man what his new nova could do. He smoked his tires and held it stedy at 100mph. Dispite this amazing figure, only 10 minutes later the old man comes flying by him with ease. CLANK CLANK ZOOOOOOM. Well the student didn't like the idea of beieng passed by an old man on a moped so puts more pressure on the gas. Now he passes the old man once again and now the spedometer more...

So Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for' 98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.

Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window.

"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the more...

This dad takes his son hunting. He tells his son," Okay, if you say a word while we're out here I'm gonna spank you." So the first day passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. Second day passes and the little boy doesn't say a thing. Then the third day comes, and they found a big bull elk. The dad takes aim and just as he's about to squeeze the trigger the little boy begins screaming. The bull runs off and the dad turns around and says," Now I'm gonna spank you!!" The little boy looks up at his dad and says," But dad, the first day that the mountain lion chased me I didn't say anything, the second day when the rattle snake crawled across my boot I didn't say a word I just couldn't stand it when the two squrrals ran up my pants and says," lets eat one now and save one for later."

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation. The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns. The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The more...

One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge theyre fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didnt know you had it in you!"Bob then replies " Its the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."