Outhouse Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Tossed Teepee

    Hot 2 years ago

    Two Indians, Running Bear and Little Beaver went to the outhouse teepee, situated on the edge of a cliff. After using the outhouse teepee, they went back to the village. The next day, they again went to the outhouse teepee. Running Bear said, "Terrible, terrible, the outhouse teepee smells to high heaven! What should we do? We can't ever use it smelling like that!" Little Beaver suggested, "Why don't we just push the outhouse teepee over the cliff, and go build another one?" They both agreed and pushed the outhouse teepee over the cliff.

    A few days later, the chief of the tribe called a pow wow. He asked," Who threw the outhouse teepee over the cliff?" No one answered. He then told this story.

    When George Washington was a little boy, his father asked, "Who chopped down the cherry tree?" Little boy George Washington answered, "It was I father."

    His father was so pleased with the answer, that he rewarded more...

    Dynamite outhouse

    Hot 6 years ago

    A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer and he's shovelling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the strawberries to fertilise them.
    The kid says, "Hey, Pop, learned in college there's an easy way to do everything."
    They go downtown and get some dynamite, they're gonna rig it up under the outhouse and blow the crap into the strawberry patch. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see Grandma coming to use the outhouse.
    The manure goes flying and so does Grandma. Ploop!... she lands in the strawberries.
    They go running up to her, "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you all right? Are you all right?"
    She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! I'm certainly glad I didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"

    A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
    It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
    Other differentiating features:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
    Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
    Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
    Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
    Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
    Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
    OK... ats aw-right
    Cancel... stopdat
    Reset... try er agin
    Yes... yep
    No... noop
    Find... hunt fer it
    Go to... over yonder
    Back... back yonder
    Help... hep me out here
    Stop... kwitit
    Start... crank er up
    Settings... settins
    Programs... stuff more...

    Oh, Maw

    Hot 4 years ago

    Maw is outside the house hanging up the laundry, when she hears Jethro in the kitchen. Maw walks in and says, "Jethro, get out there and fix that there outhouse."

    He says, "All right, Maw."

    He walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"

    Maw says, "Yes there is son. Put your head down in the hole."

    He puts his head down in the hole and he says, "Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"

    He goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck!"

    She says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"

    The Peg-Legged Prospector

    Hot 5 months ago

    During the gold rush in the Yukon, there was a bar called "Stake Your Claim" that served many of the gold prospectors. One night an elderly peg-legged prospector came into the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said, "Never seen you in here before, are you new in these parts?" The peg-legged man replied, "Yep, just came up here from Californee once the gold panning ran dry there."
    After the bartender served the guy about his 6th beer, the peg-legged prospector asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender explained that the bathroom was an outhouse at the top of a little hill, just behind the building. The bartender said, "You'll have to climb up the hill for about a hundred feet, and the hill is really icy from all he snow we've been having. I'd better give you a hand getting up the hill, because you'll never make it with those peg-legs." The prospector said, "I've been walking with these peg legs for 50 years, I can more...

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