Observations Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    LIFE'S OBSERVATIONS:
    1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
    2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
    3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.
    4. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
    6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
    7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
    8. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    9. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley.
    10. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
    11. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
    12. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like more...

    Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...

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    Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
    NASA publication 14-307-1792
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    ABSTRACT

    The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.

    Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.

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    INTRODUCTION

    The more...

    INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS WITH AN AMAZING CONCLUSION
    1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
    2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING
    3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
    4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
    5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
    and...
    6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
    THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
    The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls
    become.

    You won't beleive this. It's a true story. Ahem: About a year ago I was at Science Class and sitting beside my buddy Chad. We were in this huge science lab, and were waiting for our assighnment Mr.Hall wlked in, and wrote on the marker board. "All students will be required to wear they're goggles and an apron. Pair up with a partner and you will each be given a series of chemicals. make predictions about what you think they are. Look, touch,(with gloves)and write down observations. Next, heat the chemical you observed, and describe what happens. Do not over heat bunsen burner! Record observations in science journal, and wait for further directions."
    Chad and I put on our gear and grabbed our chemicals. I tested a few, but came up on one that I couldn't figure out. Chad on the other hand, was doing fine with his half.
    "What do you think this is?" "Dunno" Chad replied, he lit the burner. I observed the liquid. it was clear, and looked like more...

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