Nsa Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    If IBM ran Christmas...
    They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for
    their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36
    hours of mainframe processing time.
    If Microsoft ran Christmas...
    Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well.
    You wouldn't have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it
    anyway. Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced
    steel countertop tree), draw enough electricity to power a small city,
    take up 95% of the space in your living room, would claim to be the
    first ornament that uses the colors red/green together. It would
    interrogate your other decorations to find out who made them. Most
    everyone would hate Microsoft ornaments, but nonetheless would buy them
    since most of the other tree types wouldn't work with their hooks.
    If Apple ran Christmas...
    It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments more...

    If companies run ChristmasIf IBM ran Christmas...
    They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.

    If Microsoft ran Christmas...
    Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn`t have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it anyway. Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced steel countertop tree), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your living room, would claim to be the first ornament that uses the colors red/green together. It would interrogate your other decorations to find out who made them. Most everyone would hate Microsoft ornaments, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the other tree types wouldn`t work with their hooks.

    If Apple ran Christmas...
    It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years more...

    If IBM ran Christmas...
    They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.

    If Microsoft ran Christmas...
    Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well.
    You wouldn't have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it anyway.
    Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced steel counter top tree), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your living room, would claim to be the first ornament that uses the colors red/green together.
    It would interrogate your other decorations to find out who made them.
    Most everyone would hate Microsoft ornaments, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the other tree types wouldn't work with their hooks.

    If Apple ran Christmas...
    It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years more...

    * If Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away and that, indeed, the whole appliance was just blowing smoke!
    * If HP made toasters… They would market the Reverse Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread!
    * If IBM made toasters… They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters.
    * If Xerox made toasters… You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.
    * If Circuit City made toasters… The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
    * If Thinking Machines made toasters… You more...

    If the NSA made toasters... Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only theNSA could access in case they needed to get at your toastfor reasons of national security.

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