Nosed Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance."I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the team.""Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with 'T'?"The Polak said, "Two!""Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?""Today and Tomorrow!""Hmm... OK," said the coach."How many seconds are there in a year?""Twelve!""Twelve? How did you come up with more...

A guy sits in a bar when the barkeeper starts talking about his dog, "My dog is
the most vicious killing machine in the area. If I had not tied it by a huge
chain, it would kill other dogs or children all the time."
And really the guy can see a doberman snarling in the corner tied by a huge
chain. The guy looks up and says, "I bet you a beer that my dog that is tied up
outside the pub has no problem killing your dog."
"Oh really?" answers the bar keeper, "what breed of dog do you have?"
"A long nosed, short legged, long tailed terrier," answers the guy.
"Alright," replies the bar keeper and releases his doberman. The doberman runs
outside. Soon afterwards the tattered remains of the dog limps back, bleeding,
all over covered with wounds, and dies at the barkeeper's feet. The bar keeper
cannot understand what was going on.
"That must be a hell hound you have outside. What more...

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance.

"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the
team."

"Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.

The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter' T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"

Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with' T'?"

The Polak said, "Two!"

"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"

"Today and Tomorrow!"

"Hmm... OK," said the coach. more...

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance." I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the team." "Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly. The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter' T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with' T'?" The Polak said, "Two!""Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?" "Today and Tomorrow!""Hmm... OK," said the coach." How many seconds are there in a year?" "Twelve!""Twelve? How did you come up more...

Deck The Halls
See that drag queen his name's Molly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
For 50 bucks he'll make you jolly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
See him in his gay apparel.
Fa La La La La La La La La
You should meet his brother Carol.
Fa La La La La La La La La
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We wish you a happy hearing,
we wish you a happy hearing,
We wish you a happy hearing,
and we hope you make bail!
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.
All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
End of story.

Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.
All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
End of story.

"Teddy, the red nosed senator,
Had a very shiny car.
And if you've ever seen it,
You were prob'ly near a bar.
All of the other Senators,
Wondered how he get his dames.
They thought he was to drunk,
To join in any bedroom games.
Then one clouded Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
'Teddy with your nose so red,
'Won't you help me guide my sled.'
That's how the police found him,
Wrapped around a maple tree.
Teddy, the red nosed Senator,
You're a drunken S.O.B.!"