Muscles Jokes / Recent Jokes
Joe has a problem, so he goes to his doctor. "Doctor, I don't seem to be able to get an erection. Can you help me?"
After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "The problem you're having is because the muscles at the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you, unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment. What we would do is take the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk and implant them in your penis."
Joe thinks about it for a few minutes, then says, "Well, since I can't imagine going through life without ever having sex again, let's go fot it."
A few weeks after the surgery, the doctor gives Joe the green light to use his improved equipment. Excited, he plans a romantic evening with his girlfriend and takes her to one of the best restaurants in the city.
In the middle of dinner, Joe feels a stirring between his legs that continues to the point of being uncomfortable. Hoping to release the more...
Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting mypenis erect, can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well theproblem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penisare damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except ifyou're willing to try an experimental treatment." Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctorexplains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of ababy elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go forit." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light touse his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for hisgirl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in thecity. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legsthat continued to the point more...
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your
mind and. . . begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with
reading something more more...
A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead. The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment". The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend more...
Jack goes to the doctor and says, "I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "The problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you, except if you're willing to try a new experimental treatment." "What's the treatment?" Jack asks sadly. "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it then says, "The thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much. I'll have the treatment." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being more...
One day I decided to go work-out at the gym. The fitness instructors are so bossy lately. They told me to go on the stair master. I asked, "Why can't I just go on one of those machines that make you lose weight?" They told me that I can gain muscles. I said I didn't wanna gain muscles. They asked me "Why not?" I told him, "BECAUSE I'M A LAZY ASS BASTARD!"