Mistake Jokes / Recent Jokes
A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25ยข each -- three for a dollar."
All day long, customers came in exclaiming:
"Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"
Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"
"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
What was the worst mistake that Bill made with Monica?
He didn't send her home with Ted Kennedy.
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,' Congratulations on your new location!'"
If you take a long time, you're slow. BUT if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
If you don't do it, you're lazy. BUT if your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
If you make a mistake, you're an idiot. BUT if your boss makes a mistake, he's' only human'.
If you're on a day off sick, you're' always' sick. BUT if your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed. BUT if your boss does it, he's being firm.
If you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. BUT if your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
If you please your boss, you're ass-creeping. BUT if your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative.
If you do something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. BUT if your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
If you're out of the office, you're wandering around. BUT if your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
If you apply for leave, you more...
One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, daddy."
He replied, "How'd you know?"
The girl said, "Because you didn't say' JERK' afterwards!"
A couple wanted their marriage to be something unique, so they decided to wait until they died to get married in Heaven. After they died, they were reunited in Heaven. They went to Saint Peter and begged him to get them married in Heaven. After assuring them they really didn't want to get married in Heaven, he told them if after five years they still wanted to get married, they could talk about it again. After five years the couple came to Saint Peter and again begged him to get them married in Heaven. Again he assured them it would be a mistake to get married in Heaven made the promise that if they waited five more years he would get them married. Five years went by and the couple looked Saint Peter up. Now they really, really wanted to get married. Saint Peter went ahead and had the couple married. After only one month the couple found Saint Peter and told him they had made a very bad mistake. This marriage was the worst possible thing that could have happened to them in Heaven. more...
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!" St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case. When St. Peter returned, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that the mistake must be yours, my son. We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and you're at least 108."