Mental health Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? Because she thought everybody loved her.

In a psychiatrists waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"The second answers, "Im Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that youre Napoleon?"The second responds, "God told me I was."At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDNT!"

Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes. Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself. Patient: Really? How do your like yours - fried or boiled?

What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic? He charges you double.

"The trouble is," said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't tell jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or do magic tricks or do anything!" "Then why don't you give up show business?" "I can't - I'm a star!"

Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "So she said to him,' Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'."