Manually Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to analyze the historical failure rates of lightbulbs using PROC LIFEREG, so as to anticipate the failure of the lightbulb before the user actually has to report it, one to explain why SAS is better for changing lightbulbs than S-Plus, SPSS/X, BMDP, SYSTAT, MINITAB or a spreadsheet, one to write a custom interface in AF/SCL allowing the user to manually request the changing of the light bulb after its failure (prematurely) occurs, one to write a report with PROC SQL and PROC REPORT which will summarize the lightbulbs needing to be changed, sorted twelve different ways, cross-indexed (by wattage, type, and prematureness-of-failure) and totaled, one to actually spin the light bulb into the socket using SAS/Insight, one to call Cary to try to get them to explain when a new version of the lightbulb will ship, how much we'll pay to keep using lightbulbs for another year, and what we'll do if our site sends all its more...

Boys
1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip
Girls
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. Cancel
18. Re-enter code
19. Cancel
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. Error
23. Enter bigger amount
24. Error
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take more...

Jokes Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash dispenser machines) Boys: 1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser. 2. Insert card 3. Dial code and desired amount 4. Take the cash, the card and the slip Girls: 1. Drive to the bank 2. Engine stalled 3. Check make-up in the mirror 4. Apply perfume 5. Manually check haircut 6. Park the car - failure 7. Park the car - failure 8. Park the car - Success 9. Search for the card in the handbag 10. Insert card, rejected by the machine 11. Throw phone card back in handbag, 12. Look for bank card. 13. Insert Card 14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag 15. Enter code 16. Study instructions for 2 minutes 17. #Cancel# 18. Re-enter code 19. #Cancel# 20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code 21. Enter desired amount 22. #Error# 23. Enter bigger amount 24. #Error# 25. Enter maximum amount 26. Cross fingers 27. Take cash 28. Go back to the car 29. Check make up in rear mirror 30. more...

One Day Evening A Sardarji Starts From Office To Home With Pushing His Scooter Manually. He Met His Friend On The Way...

Friend: Why Are You Pushing Your Scooter Manually? Sardarji:' I Forgot To Bring The Scooter Key From My Home. Friend:' Is It!

Then, How Did You Come To Office From Home In The Morning?' Sardarji:' I Was Pushing My Scooter From Home To Office Also In The Morning.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many?

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends: If they are applications programmers, it takes exactly twice as many as are currently available. If they are host programmers, it takes one for each variant of Unix and/or MicroSoft Windows. If they are core programmers, it only takes one. He just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to analyze the historical failure rates of lightbulbs using PROC LIFEREG, so as to anticipate the failure of the lightbulb before the user actually has to report it, one to explain why SAS is better for changing lightbulbs than S-Plus, SPSS/X, BMDP, SYSTAT, MINITAB or a spreadsheet, one to write a custom interface in AF/SCL allowing the user to manually request the changing of the light bulb after its more...