Locked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. "Hurry!" Paris said. "It’s starting to rain. And the top is down!"

    James Brown's widow was locked out of his mansion after his death.The entertainer's lawyer said the reasons were legal and not personal yet repeatedly refered to Mrs. Brown only as the "Godmother of Hole".

    Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said," Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"

    Twas the night before Christmas
    And all through the cells
    The convicts were locked up
    All madder than hell
    Except for the lifers
    Kicked back in their bunks
    Heads filled with visions
    Of fat little punks
    When suddenly from the roof top
    There arose such a roar
    That the bulls thought it was
    A riot for sure
    The goon squad ran in
    And stood ready to hit
    A big guard yelled out
    Who started this shit
    It came from the roof top
    Sniveled a snitch
    It must be a breakout
    Oh, son of a bitch
    They climbed to the roof
    By way of the stairs
    Found a fat little freak
    In red underwear
    No, No yelled the dude
    I bring you good cheer
    Damn said the Captain
    We found us a queer
    Alright mother fucker
    Get your hands on the wall
    They shook him down good
    Asshole and all
    They beat him and threw him
    Into the hole with a kick
    Well so much for more...

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Wednesday, October 21, 1992In Annandale, Va., two armed men rushed the front door of First American Bank just after manager Dwight Smith opened up.Unknown to the men, the door had locked automatically behind Smith.The first robber bounced off the door hitting the second man.They escaped in their van and have not been captured.

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