Locked Jokes

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. "Hurry!" Paris said. "It’s starting to rain. And the top is down!"

James Brown's widow was locked out of his mansion after his death.The entertainer's lawyer said the reasons were legal and not personal yet repeatedly refered to Mrs. Brown only as the "Godmother of Hole".

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do. Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said," Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the cells
The convicts were locked up
All madder than hell
Except for the lifers
Kicked back in their bunks
Heads filled with visions
Of fat little punks
When suddenly from the roof top
There arose such a roar
That the bulls thought it was
A riot for sure
The goon squad ran in
And stood ready to hit
A big guard yelled out
Who started this shit
It came from the roof top
Sniveled a snitch
It must be a breakout
Oh, son of a bitch
They climbed to the roof
By way of the stairs
Found a fat little freak
In red underwear
No, No yelled the dude
I bring you good cheer
Damn said the Captain
We found us a queer
Alright mother fucker
Get your hands on the wall
They shook him down good
Asshole and all
They beat him and threw him
Into the hole with a kick
Well so much for more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Wednesday, October 21, 1992In Annandale, Va., two armed men rushed the front door of First American Bank just after manager Dwight Smith opened up.Unknown to the men, the door had locked automatically behind Smith.The first robber bounced off the door hitting the second man.They escaped in their van and have not been captured.