Laugh Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy walked into a bar one day and noticed a jar full of money on the counter.
He asked the bartender what it was for and the bartender replied that if he could go into the back and make the donkey laugh, he could have that jar of money.
So the guy walks in the back and a few minutes he comes out with the donkey laughing his head off. He gets his money and walks out.
The next day the same guy went to the same bar and noticed another jar of money sitting on the counter. The bartender, when asked, said that if he could go in the back and make the donkey cry, he could have that jar of money.
So the guy goes in the back and about 5 minutes later comes out with the donkey crying huge tears.
As the guy was about to leave, the bartender stopped him and asked him how he made the donkey laugh and cry.
The guy replied: The first time I told him I had a bigger pecker then he did, and the second time I proved it.

Here are six reasons why you should think before you
speak the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed more...

A man goes into his doctors office and he seems very nervous.
The doctor says "what is wrong?"
The patient says "I can't tell you unless you promise not to laugh"
Doctor "I have been a doctor for 30 years and I have never once laughed at a patient"
Patient "well I guess you won't laugh but I will have to show you what is wrong"
"Ok lets take a look" the doctor replies
The man proceeds to pull down his pants to reveal the smallest penis the doctor had ever seen. Try as he might not to laugh the doctor is soon rolling around the floor laughing.
After a few minutes the doctor regains his composure and apologizes to his patient.
"I am so sorry that has never happened before, so what seems to be the problem"
To which the patient replies "Well isn't it obvious doc?.. IT"S ALL SWELLED UP!!"

Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time...
Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!"
Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
"Accidentally" spill your soda on the dork next to you.
Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't."
Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! more...

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone!

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.
Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn`t laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.
Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.
Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So more...