Kneels Jokes

A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. "What's your name?" she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My name's Huey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She goes up to the second dog and asks "What's your name?" The dog replies "My name's Duey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She turns to the third dog and says "I suppose you're going to tell me your names Luey and you're having a great day going in and out of puddles." The dog replies "No, I'm having a fucking miserable day and my name is Puddles."

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels down at the altar and begins to pray to God, stating that he owes many people money and asks to win the lottery. After he is done praying, he gets up and walks out.
The next Sunday he goes to the same church and pleads with God through his prayers to let him win the lottery so that he can pay these people back.
The next Sunday comes around and Shane enters the church very upset and close to tears, he kneels at the alter and asks why God is doing this to him and say's that he has asked to win the lottery for three weeks now and nothing. Suddenly there came a loud bang of thunder and God spoke, "Shane, meet me halfway: Buy a damn ticket!"

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels down at the altar and begins to pray to God, stating that he owes many people money and asks to win the lottery. After he is done praying, he gets up and walks out.The next Sunday he goes to the same church and pleads with God through his prayers to let him win the lottery so that he can pay these people back.The next Sunday comes around and Shane enters the church very upset and close to tears, he kneels at the alter and asks why God is doing this to him and say's that he has asked to win the lottery for three weeks now and nothing. Suddenly there came a loud bang of thunder and God spoke, "Shane, meet me halfway: Buy a damn ticket!"

During Sabbath services the Rabbi kneels and puts his forehead to the floor and says, "Before you oh Lord, I am nothing."
The Cantor looks at him, thinks it couldn't hurt, and kneels, puts his forehead to the floor, and says, "Before you oh Lord, I am nothing."
Ben Shapiro in the fifth row is watching this and thinking that it was a pretty good idea, so he goes in the middle of the aisle, kneels and puts his forehead to the floor and says, "Before you oh Lord, I am nothing."
The Rabbi nudges the Cantor. "Look who thinks he's nothing!"