Junior Jokes

Mom: Why did you get a grade so low?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mom: Who, You?
Junior: No, the kid who sits right next to me.

From London Times via Car and Driver:
Comrade Gorbachev is being driven from his dacha to Moscow and
is in a hurry. He is getting irritated with the slowness of his
driver. "Can't you go any faster?" he says angrily. "I have to
obey the speed limits," says the driver.
Finally Gorbachev
orders the driver into the back and takes the wheel. Sure
enough a patrol car soon pulls them over. The senior officer
orders the junior to go write up the ticket. But the junior
officer comes back and says he can't give them a ticket, the
person in the car is too important.
"Well, who is it?" the senior officer asks.
"I didn't recognize him," says the junior
officer, "but Comrade Gorbachev is his chauffeur."
Raj Wall
Texas Instruments

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think its going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Fathers umbrella, but three days later he still hadnt returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat juniors ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I wont go."

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments."
- David Letterman

A blonde began a job as an Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the bloody goalie."Sent by Gerald