Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Marty and Jane were driving home after an expensive - yet bland -
dinner. Since Marty's minor heart attack 15 years ago, Jane had kept
her hubby on a strict, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol diet,
depriving him of all the foods he loved.
As Marty turned the corner at a busy intersection, another car slammed
into theirs, killing Marty and Jane instantly.
St. Peter greeted the couple at the Pearly Gates and took them on a
tour of Heaven. Their first stop was a luxury mansion, "Your new
home," St. Peter told them.
Looking at the expensive marble floors, Marty asked, "How much is this
going to cost us?"
"Nothing," St. Peter replied. "Everything is free in Heaven."
Next, they visited their new championship-style golf course.
"This is your private golf course," St. Peter said. "It changes daily,
representing the greatest golf courses on Earth."
"What are the green more...

Jane met Tarzan in the jungle and found she was very attracted to him. While asking him questions about his life, she asked how he managed for sex.
"What's sex?" asked a confused Tarzan.
She explained to him what sex was and he replied, "Tarzan use hole in tree trunk."
Horrified, Jane said, "No, Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it the proper way." She then removed all her clothes, laid on the ground and spread her legs.
Pointing to her privates, she said, "Here, Tarzan. You must put it here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, moved closer to her and gave her a tremendous kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony and gasped, "What the hell was that for?"
"Tarzan always check for bees!" he replied.

Jane calls the doctor in a panic. "Doctor, doctor! My little Jimmy swallowed a dozen aspirin. What should I do?"
The doctor asked Jane, "Are you sure it was a dozen?"
The frantic mother says, "Absolutely! Doctor, I'm scared to death!"
The doctor tells the mother, "Calm down. Is little Jimmy crying?"
Jane says "No."
"Is he sleeping?" asks the doctor.
"No." says Jimmy's mom.
The doctor goes on with routine questions, "Is his color funny?"
Again Jane says "No."
"Did Jimmy throw up?" asks the methodical doctor.
"No." says the worried mom. "But I'm so scared. All that aspirin... shouldn't I do something?"
To which the doctor says, "Try giving him a headache."

Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.
Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.
In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?'
Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him.As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch.In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?'Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex.

Whats that? he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said
Oh Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.

Horrified she said Tarzan you have it all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.

She took off her clothes laid down on the ground and spread her legs.
Here she said pointing You must put it in here.

Tarzan removed his loincloth stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp
What the hell did you do that for?
Tarzan check for squirrels.