In-flight Jokes

Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!" The the uncle took out several pieces of chapattis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly. Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. more...

Appuhamy uncle was booked into a flight to London from Colombo. But as
this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations
that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders
for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my
own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!"
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began
spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was
an English history researcher, who was curious about the food."Excuse
me, what is that
drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yoghurt-based lassi drink and
said, "Milk of Lanka!"
Then the uncle took out Kiribath and started feasting.
"And what is that dish?" asked the curious English. "Rice of Lanka! "
replied Appuhamy uncle proudly.
Finally, the uncle took out some Wattalapam desserts. He more...

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."2. Pilot -- "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit
cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"5. After a particularly rough landing more...