Hitler Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy walks into a bar in Argentina. He sees a familiar character, albeit much older now, sitting at the bar. He approaches, examines his face, and asks:
"Excuse me, but aren't you Adolf Hitler?"
"Vy yes, I am Adolf Hitler."
"But I thought you were dead!"
"Ach. I get a lot of dat. But in fact, I am chust biding my time, planning a scheme to kill fifty million Jews and eight of der Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders."
"What?" the guy exclaims. "Why would you want to kill eight of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?"
Hitler turns to another fellow sitting at the bar next to him. "You see vat I mean? Nobody gives a damn about da Jews!!!"

Adolf Hitler dies and finds himself in front of the door of Hell. He knocks, Satan opens the door and asks: "What's your name?"
"Adolf Hitler", he replies. Satan is flabbergasted. "Adolf Hitler? I know what you did on Earth and there's not way I am going to take you in. Indeed, this is Hell, but there's a limit to everything. Hey, why don't you go to Heaven? Follow the road, there's a big door on the right, you can't miss it."
Elated by this stroke of luck, Hitler starts walking towards Heaven.
The following day, there's a knock at the door of Hell. Satan opens and finds Jesus standing outside.
"Jesus, what are you doing here?", he asks, surprised.
And Jesus replies: "I just escaped from the camp and would like to apply for political asylum!"

the real reason hitler shot himself was because he owed chuck noriss a dollar

What do you get when you cross a ridiculous, face-fur mustache with Adolph Hitler?

A dictator afraid of the shadow beneath his nose.

The following began life as a Top Ten list of "Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler."
it was passed around during a lecture in a political science class of mine and
soon grew to over 100 entries. I have culled out the stupid and/or truly
offensive ones, as well as any that said nasty things about any particular
nationality (read, the French.) You'll have to excuse the fact that some
of them are rather obscure, but that's what happens when you get a bunch of
political scientists in the same room. Without further ado, I give you...
Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler
Land War in Asia
Changed name from highly catchy "Schickelgruber" to boring "Hitler"
Leaving his little mustache: not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln
beard to instill trust among subjects
Not buying lifts for his shoes
Failure to exploit Me 262 Messerschmidt
Failure to exploit Eva Braun
Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the more...

Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.
"Who was that!?" shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.
"I see," he said, "I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who sneezed?"
A Gestapo agent took 10 people out of the room. Shots were heard, then silence.
"I will ask again," yelled Hitler, "who sneezed?" Again, nobody said anything.
"Very vell," he said, "I will have another 10 of you shot!"
The Gestapo agent escorted 10 more people out of the room and executed them.
"For the very last time," screamed Hitler, "Who sneezed?"
Finally the guilty officer could stand no more. He stood up and said, "It was me, my F