Helpline Jokes / Recent Jokes
Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working? No, but there's a lot of crackling.
General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy/use cars like they buy/use computers -- but imagine if they did. . .
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
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HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? more...
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.""Went away?" "They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing.""Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.""Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?""Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?""Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told more...
Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white....