Heated Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two women who met in the park were busily chatting about their
    sons. My sons a doctor exclaimed the first women. He has a
    beautiful big house, a Rolls and a BMW, a heated swimming pool
    and a tennis court. After bragging about her son she asks the
    second woman' What does your son do?'
    Well actually my sons a homosexual, said the second woman.
    OH I am sorry said the first women.
    No need to be sorry said the second woman, he's done very well
    for himself. He lives with a rich doctor who has a big house, a
    rolls and a BMW, a lovely heated swimming pool and a tennis court.

    After a heated exchange during a trial, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench.
    "Your Honor," said lawyer Cox, "I objected because my distinguished colleague was badger-ing the witness. It's obvious he's never heard of the Bill of Rights."
    "Rubbish!" snapped attorney Updike. "I happen to know them by heart."
    Cox cocked a disbelieving brow. "Do you, now? Well, Updike, I have a hundred dollars! that says you can't even tell me the first iew words."
    Bristling, Updike accepted the challenge and began, "I pledge allegiance to the flag.. .."
    "Damn," Cox interrupted, fishing the money from his pocket, "I didn't think you'd know it."

    Craig Donaldson, 17, of Glasgow, Scotland had a little too much time on his hands. One saturday morning in October of 1999 while his parents had left the house to go car shopping, Craig was overcome by the sort of sexual desire only a deprived 17 year old boy could have.

    He decided that his usual "self service" material consisting of a back issue of Playboy was not enough and he had become very frustrated. Just then he remembered a story that his friend Jed had told him about a woman in a pornographic movie who had applied peanut butter to her genitals and allowed a trained dog to "clean" it off of her.

    Probably thinking to himself, "mom and dad won't be home for hours!", Craig headed upstairs to the kitchen only stopping to let Max, the family's 4 year old doberman pinscher inside the house. Craig searched for some peanut butter but couldn't find any, in fact there was no fruit jam or margarine either.

    However, Craig did more...

    chocolate oven and kettel
    central heated fridge
    dry water
    central heated igloos
    cordless bunjee rope
    The water-proof towel
    Glow in the dark sunglasses
    Solar powered flashlights
    Submarine screen doors
    A book on how to read
    Inflatable dart boards
    A dictionary index
    Powdered water
    Pedal powered wheel chairs
    Water proof tea bags
    Watermelon seed sorter
    Zero proof alchohol
    Reusable ice cubes
    See through tiolet tissue
    Skinless bananas
    Do it yourself roadmap
    Helicopter ejector seat

    Monday's Democratic presidential debate was marked by heated exchanges between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

    In fact, it was the most hot and heavy action Hillary has had since her wedding night.

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