Hair Jokes / Recent Jokes

Actual personal ads from actual newspapers all across America as collected by Kathy Hinckley in "Plain Fat Chick Seeks Guy Who Likes Broccoli".
WOMEN SEEKING MEN
I like driving around with my two cats, especially on the freeway. I make them wear little hats so that I can use the carpool lane. Way too much time on your hands too? Call me. SWF, 42, 5'10", brown/blue.
SWF, 27, obnoxious, silly, pierced, tattooed, insane, hormonally unbalanced, Rollerblading, sushi-eating, cartoon-watching redhead from Hell, seeks Vlad. My neck is all yours. BITE ME.
Don't call me if you are uneducated; unemployed; unhealthy smoker; felon; under 30 years old, 5'10"; over 40 years old, 6'8", 230 pounds; like cats, channel surfing; make less than $30,000 annually; or have body parts pierced. Others feel free.
MEN SEEKING WOMEN
Fat, flatulent, over-40, cigar-smoking redneck seeks sexy woman with big hair to cook, clean and pick up unemployment more...

Q. One day a blonde walked into an electronics store and went to the cashier and asked "may I please buy that t.v. over there"and the cashier said "no because your blonde." So she went home and dyed her hair black and went back to the store and asked the cashier again if she could by the t.v. and he again said no because your blonde. she thought "how does he know I am blonde." so she went home and dyed her hair brown, and red and the same thing happened. she came back the next day with her hair blonde and asked the cashier how did you know that i was blonde when i dyed my hair all of those colors and the cashier said~~~ A. "because that is not a t.v. thats a microwave."

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone.Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! Q: What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment? A: An IN-body experience! Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job.Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A1: She'd just dyed her hair. A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You more...

Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

Yo mama hair so short she curls it with rice.

A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom,
"Why are some of your hairs gray?"
The mom replies cleverly, "Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray." The girl thinks for a minute, and then asks,
"Is that why all Grandma's hairs are gray?"

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."
That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."
The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"
So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."
Her husband says, "You think YOU were embarrassed? I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there." That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to gointo the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look." The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her.Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?"So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine." Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."