Hair Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, Jim, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as
well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor more...

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. One day he met a beautiful princess. She had ruby lips, golden hair and sapphire eyes. He fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited three more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5. But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking. Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and more...

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
One Taco short of a Combo Meal.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer!
The cheese slid of his cracker.
Body by Fisher Price, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2 but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
Too much yardage between the posts.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top more...

A young woman with purple hair styled into a Mohawk, wearing strange clothing and sporting a variety of tattoos entered the hospital emergency room.
Upon examining her it was quickly determined that she had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was on the operating table, completely disrobed, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and there was a tattoo above it which read, 'Keep off the grass'.
After the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, saying, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn'.

"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's
magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural,
since the hair between your legs is black."
The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers.
"What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded. She smiled sweetly and
said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've
only been banged once."

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

A blonde girl goes into a hair salon and she's wearing earphones connected to her walkman.
She tells the hair stylist to cut her hair but NOT to take off her earphones. He had to cut around it. But, he thought it would look really stupid if he didn't cut under her earphones so he picked them up and lifted them slightly.
Suddenly, she fell to the ground, dead. The hair stylist picked up the ear phones to see what she had been listening to and a recorded voice was saying "Breathe In, Breathe Out. Breathe In, Breathe Out."