Hair Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because of the honey combs.

- Even after eating a Tic-Tac, puppies still have bad breath.
- When you're sad, the best place to be is with your dog.
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Broccoli cannot be hidden in a glass of milk.
- Never wear stripped or polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- As you get bigger, your room gets smaller.
- Dogs can't be trusted to watch your food.
- Reading what people write on desks can help get you through the test.
- School lunches will stick to the wall.
- Never sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- If your sibling hits you, don't hit back. The second person is always the one who gets caught.
- Never hold a cat and a dustbuster at the same time.
- It's impossible to unlearn a bad word.
- You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
- If you want a kitten, start by asking for a horse.
- If you want someone more...

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."
With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

How to be a Good WifeExcerpted from a 1950's high school home economics textbookHave dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a life. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. Prepare the children. more...

Q: Why do so many older men have so much hair growing out of their ears?

A: They forget to rinse their hands after using Rogaine.

How does a blonde part their hair? By doing the splits.

I'm glad I'm a woman
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
and I don't go around "re-adjusting" my crotch
or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see - I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from more...