Grateful Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Golf Genie
    A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on
    the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her
    shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very
    large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through
    the window and shattered it into a million pieces. They felt compelled to
    see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they
    peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out
    and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small
    gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head. The wife asked
    the man, "
    Do you live here?"
    "
    No, someone just hit a ball through the
    window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little
    bottle. I am so grateful!"
    he answe red. The wife asked, "
    Are you a
    genie?"
    more...

    My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
    "Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
    Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on. The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
    Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

    Dec 25
    My dearest darling Edward,
    What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.
    Your deeply loving,
    EmilyDec. 26
    Beloved Edward,
    The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I'm so touched and grateful!
    With undying love, as always,
    EmilyDec. 27
    My darling Edward,
    You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It's a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we'll find some. Anyway, thank-you so much; they're lovely.
    Your devoted,
    EmilyDec. 28
    Dearest Edward,
    What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly - they make telephoning almost impossible - but I expect they'll calm down more...

    A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes.
    The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
    They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
    The wife said, "Do you live here?"
    "No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there and freed me from that little bottle. I am so grateful," he answered.
    The wife said, "Are you a genie?"
    "Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, the more...

    O come, all ye Grateful,
    Deadheads to the concert.
    O come, Grateful Deadheads,
    And camp in the street.
    Bring rolling papers,
    Don't forget your sleeping bags.
    O come get us some floor seats,
    We've followed them for four weeks,
    O come get us some floor seats,
    To see the Lord.
    O come, all ye hippies,
    Throwbacks to the Sixties.
    Paint flowers on your van,
    And don't wash your feet.
    Wear your bell-bottoms,
    And your tie-dye t-shirts.
    O come let us adore them,
    We've quit our day jobs for them,
    O come let us adore, them,
    Garcia's the Lord.

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