Glove Jokes / Recent Jokes
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver`s license?
Driver: I don`t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner`s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It`s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That`s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner`s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There`s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That`s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There`s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car
was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here more...
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your more...
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?" At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse...
"Darn it ELAINE!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT"
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, may I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whose car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The more...
DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME? DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?
I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE? DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?
I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU LEAVE A POOL OF BLOOD? DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?
I did not leave a pool of blood. I can not even wear that glove. I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime I could not, would not, anytime.
I did not kill Nicole and Ron I did not kill them, Ito-san
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:Officer: May I see your driver`s license?Driver: I don`t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.Officer: May I see the owner`s card for this vehicle?Driver: It`s not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?Driver: That`s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner`s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.Officer: There`s a gun in the glove box?Driver: Yes sir. That`s where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.Officer: There`s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?Driver: Yes, sir.Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:Captain: Sir, may I see your license?Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.Captain: Whose car is this?Driver: It`s mine, officer. Here`s the owner`s card. The driver owned the more...