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Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:
Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Support: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",
Support: "Went away?"
Customer:"They disappeared."
Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Support: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Support: "Never more...
An American, French, and Polock decide to all go elk hunting together. They all decide it’s better to go out separately. So the first day the American goes out and comes back with a moderately big elk.
The other two want to know how he scored it, so the American says, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, Bang I shoot and elk. ”
So the next day the French man goes out and comes back with an even bigger elk than the American. Impressed the other two ask him how he got it.
So the French guy, in a thick accent, says, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, Bang I shoot and elk. ”
So the next day the Polock goes out and not long after he comes back bleeding and scratched up.
So the other two ask, “What the hell happened to you!?! ”
The Polock replies, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, Bang I get hit by a train. ”
All believable, but un-verrified at this time.
22 November 1996 -- Any More Complaints? The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained,' Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?' Without missing a beat the controller replied,' Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!'
15 November 1996 -- What the...?! PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said' Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first'. The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!
8 November 1996 -- Which Exit Did You Say That Was? A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his Approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower:' American 751 Heavy, more...
THE CHINESE DETECTIVE
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch..
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
NO FEE
When a blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm she recalled what her father had told her, "If you are ever stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow then follow it." Soon a snow plow came by and she began to follow it. She continued to follow it for almost an hour.
Finally the driver of the plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She told him that her father had told her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm to just follow a plow.
The driver chuckled and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for more...