Follow Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following are actual postings on Church Bulletin Boards in Churches from all over the USA.
1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies more...

CIA Affirmative Action
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.
After sending some applicants through the background checks, Training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to 2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances", they explained.
"Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Take this gun and kill her.
"The man got a shocked look on his face and said "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own more...

121. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine? A: Not everybody has been in a limo. 122. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies? A: One's a bunch a cunning runts. .. 123 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush. 124. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. 125. Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. 126. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley? A: The shopping trolley has a mind of its own! 127. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez Canal? A: One's a busy ditch. 128. Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet? A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it. 129. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, more...

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."
So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."
So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"

Two blond guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."

A man walked up to the pharmacist and asked for a pack of condoms. As soon as he paid for them, he began laughing and walked out.
The next day, the exact same thing happened. Thinking this was very strange, the pharmacist told his assistant that should the man return, he's to follow him.
Sure enough, the following day the same man returned and repeated his previous actions. As instructed, the assistant followed him.
When the assistant returned a short while later, the pharmacist asked, "Did you follow him?"
"Yes I did," replied the assistant.
"Well, where did he go?" asked the pharmacist.
"To your house!" answered the assistant.

Good Afternnoon, Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."What sort of trouble?"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway."Went away?"They disappeared."Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"Nothing."Nothing?"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"How do I tell?"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"What's a sea-prompt?"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Does your monitor have a power indicator?"What's a monitor?"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does ithave a little light that tells you when it's on?"I don't know."Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the powercord goes into it. Can you see that?... more...