Flour Jokes

Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
pound. (See line 4.)
Line 2. Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
Line 3. Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
Line 4. Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
see Form 551.
Line 5a. Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
government employee, more...

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy
about Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for
Christmas. Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny Mother.

See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all
done. See the children watch T. V. Watch children, watch. See the
children change their minds. See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look, look, Mother is not smiling. Funny, funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will
make robes. Mother will make shirts. Look. .. Mother put the
zipper in wrong. See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See
Mother cut the skirt too short. See Mother put the material away
until January. Look, look, see Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny,
funny Mother.

See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy
candied pineapple and powdered sugar. See more...

When you mix flour and water you get glue. Right?
When you mix flour, water, eggs, and sugar you get cake. Right?
I used to wonder..."What happened to the glue?"Then I came to know that the glue is what makes the cake stick to your butt!

See Mother. See Mother laugh. Mother is happy. Mother is happy about
Christmas. Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time. Funny, funny Mother.
See mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy. The shopping is all done. See
the children watch T.V. Watch children, watch. See the children change their
minds. See them ask Santa for different toys. Look, look, Mother is not
smiling. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother sew. Mother will make dresses. Mother will make
robes. Mother will make shirts. Look... Mother put the zipper in wrong.
See Mother sews the dress on the wrong side. See Mother cut the skirt too
short. See Mother put the material away until January. Look, look, see
Mother take a tranquilizer. Funny, funny Mother.
See Mother. See Mother buy raisins and nuts. See Mother buy candied
pineapple and powdered sugar. See Mother buy flour and dates and pecans more...

It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour.

Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.

He said, "don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!"

Sheila looks to her husband and says, "Mortey...you think it'll work?" and Mortey says,

"of course! Everybody knows.........................

Rudolph, the Rab, knows grain dear!"

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Editor's Note: A variation on the theme where the Communist is explaining the weather and the comment is "Rudolf the Red know rain, dear."