Farwood Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
    LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
    MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
    DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off the truck
    MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood
    FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
    RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
    HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the winter time
    PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the winter time
    WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s cold outside
    SCREEN: What to shut when it’s black fly season
    BYTE: What them dang flies do
    CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
    MICRO CHIP: What’s in the bottom of the munchie bag
    MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
    DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife
    LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
    KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
    SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
    MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
    MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the mouse more...

    TOP15. Some of the myths about marriage... Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says: "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond ear rings. His wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says: "But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it." The wife is jumping more...

    Log On: Making a wood stove hot
    Log Off: Too much wood on a fire
    Monitor: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
    Download: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
    Megahertz: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
    Floppy disc: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
    Ram: That thar thang what splits the farwood
    Hard Drive: Gitten home in the winter time
    Windows: Whut to shut when its cold outside
    Screen: Whut to shut when its black fly season
    Byte: Whut dem dang flys do
    Chip: Munchies fer the TV
    Micro Chip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
    Modem: Whatcha do to the hay fields
    Dot Matrix: Ole Dan Matrix's wife
    Lap Top: Whar the kitty sleeps
    Keyboard: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
    Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
    Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
    Mousepad: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
    Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof
    Port: Fancy flatlander wine
    Enter: Northerner more...

    TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage... Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says: "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond ear rings. His wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says: "But you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it." The wife is jumping up more...

    1. LOG ON: Makin' a wood stove hotter.

    2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

    3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove.

    4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk.

    5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.

    6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.

    7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

    8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time.

    9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.

    10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.

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