Extraction Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An attractive young lady was at the dentist for a tooth extraction.
    He gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" line before bending over her with the proper tool in his hand.
    Suddenly, he drew back in complete alarm. "Excuse me, miss," he said in a barely audible whisper, "but you have hold of my testicles!"
    "Yes, I know," she said with a slight grin, "and we aren't going to hurt each other, now are we?"

    La Grange, GA

    Attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum.

    "My dog drags the thing all over the house," he said later. "He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile, tripped against the dog and sat down right on the thing".

    The extraction took more than three hours due to the fact that the cover to Mr Mendoza's phone had opened during insertion.

    "He was a real trouper during the entire episode," said Dr Dennis Crobe. "Tony just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself. Three times during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made jokes about it that just had us rolling on the floor. By the time we finished, we really did expect to find an answering machine in there".

    These stories come under the heading:' 'Doc! I was minding my own business when.........

    KENNETT, MO - Paramedics rescued a man who had lodged his penis in his bathroom sink drain. The man had been trying to change a light bulb above the sink when he slipped on the lip and fell. His penis sustained heavy bruising and abrasions and swelled so much that he was unable to remove it from the drain. A neighbor, hearing his shouts, called police. They broke the door down, despite the victim's fevered pleas that he was fine and in no need of assistance. Paramedics arrived within 10 minutes and administered an injection, causing the swelling to drop so that the penis could be removed without damage to it or the sink.

    LOS ANGELES, CA - Attorney Antonio Mendoza, was released from a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his rectum.' 'My dog drags the thing all over the house,'' he said later.' 'He must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile, more...

    Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry, it's my first extraction too.

    A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled.

    He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient`s butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction.

    It all happened in an instant.

    The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.

    Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?"

    The patient hesitated, "Didn`t hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots were really deep!"

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