Examination Jokes / Recent Jokes

The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet yes for heads and no for tails. Within half an hour she is all done where as the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering, sweating and erasing. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. “I finished the exam in half an hour, but I’m rechecking my answers.

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man.
When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife".

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He more...

Ujaagar was appearing for his final university examination. He took his seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took his shoes off and threw them out of the window.

He then removed his turban and threw it away as well. His shirt, trousers, socks, and watch followed suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approached him and asked what was going on.

'Oye, I am following the instructionsyaar,' replied Ujaagar,' it says here, "Answer the questions in brief'.'

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?"
After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well, the problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you're willing to try an experimental treatment."
Jack asks sadly, "And that would be?"
"Well," the Doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
Jack went under the knife, and, after a period of recovery and healing, returned to the Doc for his blessing. Following the examination, the Doc pronounced Jack, "Healed and ready for action."
Eager to use his experimentally enhanced equipment, Jack planned a more...

1.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2.Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3.On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4.The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6.Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7.Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8.The patient refused autopsy.
9.The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10.Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12.Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13.Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14.She is numb from her toes down.
15.While in ER, more...

A collegian was deeply in love with a pretty girl, But he did not have the
courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of
a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.
HE WROTE:
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I
have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational
qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my
matriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little
preparation. What do you say to the solemnisation of your marriage celebration
according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the
expansion of the population of present generation.
On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my
situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our
argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint more...