Drinks Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"
"I haven't got any money!"
To celebrate Christmas, a landlord says the first 3 customers who can present him with something to do with Christmas can have free drinks for the rest of the evening.
1st customer comes up and presents the landlord with a christmas card.
Nice one says the landlord - thats christmasy - free drinks for you
2nd customer comes up and gives the landlord some holly.
Nice one again, free drinks for you sir
Then the third customer comes up and hands the landlord a pair of used ladies knickers
” Bloody hell - what have these got to do with Christmas? ” Asks the landlord
” Their Carol’s! ” replies the customer!!!
Ha ha ha
This guy walks into a bar with his monkey. The guy sits down next to the bartender and has a few drinks. After a while he has to go the bathroom.
"Will you watch my monkey while I go the bathroom?" the guy asked the bartender.
"Sure.", says the bartender.
As soon as the bartender hits the bathroom, the monkey jumps up, runs across the room to the pool tables and eats the cue-ball.
"What the hell?", the bartender exclaimed.
When the guy came out of the bathroom, the bartender says.
"Guess what?...your damn monkey just ate my cue-ball."
"Oh god.", says the guy. "Here there's $20 and after the monkey passes the cue-ball, I'll sterilize it and bring it back to you, deal?"
The bartender agrees. A week later the guy comes back with his monkey and also returns the cue-ball. He is now on good terms with the bartender. Anyway, the guy has a few more...
An italian man buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Italian" baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!" was heard. A woman faints due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you`re the father of the typical Italian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeenpounds," The bartender is puzzled, concerned, "Why? What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth." The Italian father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans in to the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Couch dance and tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Private dance and hotel room: $500.00
Sending her on her way without having to discuss your feelings...........Priceless
Dumb Indiana laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.
Indiana Crazy Law Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
It is illegal to sell cars on more...
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"