Dream Jokes / Recent Jokes
Follow your dream; unless it's the one where your naked at work during a fire drill.
A man is starving in the desert and he comes across a tree with houses in it. He knocks on the door and an old man answers.
AHH, a visitor, said the man. well come inside and ill show u 2 a room. The man went to his room at the highest part of the tree. Oh, and dont have a dream of torture or u shall evoke the Three Chinese Tortures.
So, the man goes to sleep and he has a dream of torture. When he wakes up he has a heavy rock on his chest and a sticky note tied to it. it says: 1st chinese toture, 100lbs rock on chest. So the man picked up the rock and threw it out of the window. A sticky note on the window says: 2nd chinese toture: rock tied to left testicle. The man screams as he is falling out of the room and he sees a chalkoard with the word: 3rd chinese torture: right testicle tied to bedpost. OUCH!!!
The following is a list of different meanings for the name "Adidas."
The Anime Freak: All Day I Dream About Sesshoumaru.
The Jock: All Day I Dream About Sports.
The Video-Game Freak: All Day I Dream About Sprites.
The Pervert: All Day I Dream About Sex.
The CEO: All Day I Dream About Sports-cars.
The Cleptomaniac: All Day I Dream About Stealing.
Monica Lewinsky: All Day I Dream About Sex.
The Drunk: All Day I Dream About Shots.
The Redneck: All Day I Dream About Shotguns.
The IMer: all day i drm abt sx
Blonde's Dream
One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.
"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?"
"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."
What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!
There was a lady who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married… and then it was too late! ”
They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for him. They got married - and now she is going through HELL!
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating more...