Dat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came a New Yorker. "I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker," the foreman thought to himself, so he made up a test hoping that the New Yorker wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.
"Without numbiz?" the New Yorker says. "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ain't you got no brains? Tree' n tree n' tree makes nine."
"Fair enough," says the boss.
"Here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The New Yorker stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go."
The boss more...

Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisanna, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, "Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!" Aint dat grand!!

Bubba got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Bubba! You got you a daughter!" She a pretty lil ting, too....

Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor said, "Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Bubba, you just had youself another boy!

When Bubba and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we ran out of Vaseline and we had to more...

The South Carolina State Police received reports of illegal cock fights being held out in the parish near Goose Creek, and duly dispatched Detective Thibideaux to investigate. Thibideaux reported to his sergeant the next morning.

"Dey is tree main groups in dis cock fightin," Thibideaux began.

"Good work Thibideaux! Who dey be?" the sergeant asked. Thibideaux replied confidently, "De Polacks, de Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How you find dat out in one night?"

"Well," said Thibideaux, "I went down and done seed dat cock fight,I knowed de Polacks was involved whan a duck was entered in de fight."

The sergeant nodded. "Oh yeah, l see dat, but what' bout de others?"

Thibideaux intoned knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved whan sumbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant. "Dat more...

An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asked.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman.
"Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat more...

It was de night jus right befo' Christmas an' all down de bayou, errytang was quiet; not even a nutria go pitty pat in de waduh. An' inside my house, me an' my wife was flat poop out from all dat Christmas preparatin, an' was jes' bout ready to retire for de night. Le petit garcon an' la petite fille, dat is our little boy an' our little girl, was already fas' asleep on dere moss mattress an' visions of de Fais Do Do dance tru dere heads, dem lil darlins. Dem long john was hung by de log burner wit care in hope dat St. Nicholas soon would brought hisself dere. .. Now dat de scene is set, Qu'est-ce qui se passe?
Well, out dere on de bayou dere arose such a clatter, I jump from my bed to see what was de matter. I run like de rabbit to got to de door, an' I trip on de dog an' fall on de floor. But, when I got dere finally, an' push away de sack an' peek tru de crack an' look in de far away, what you tought I saw! Well, you can tought youself again' cause you ain't goin' believe dis, more...

Ebonics Version of Windows ‘98 Debuts!
Microsoft has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, titled “It be a fresh Window. ” It has been leaked to several suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting users.
There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version.
When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar windows chime is replaced With a “phat getto track that melts ‘em down wit dope-ass bass, ” The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall - along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.
On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with “Dis My Shit. ”
The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster.
If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced With “Da Hood. ”
Users have their choice of two animated screen savers: “Marquee, ” a lil’ G spray- painting dirty words that move across the screen; or more...

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.

After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, "Wat da hell is dat por?"

Spielberg ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you and My dad perished in that bombing!"

"Tang Na! I am not Jafanese, you stufid Nincomfoof! I am Filipino!" exclaimed the Pinoy.

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah. ... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino. .. you are all the same."

Regaining his composure, the Pinoy dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a more...