Cuckooed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with the boys. I told the missus that I would be home by midnight... I promise!
Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy and at around 3 am, full as a boot, I went home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started and cuckooed three times.
Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another nine times and was really proud of myself for having the quick-wittedness, even when pissed, to escape a possible conflict.
Next morning the missus asked me what time I got in and I told her midnight.
Whew, got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.
When I asked her why, she said,
'Well, at 3 am this morning, it cuckooed three times, paused, said bollocks, Cuckooed another four times, farted, cuckooed another three times, paused, cleared its throat and cuckooed twice, then giggled for over three minutes.'
'I think it's stuffed, don't more...

Just after Santa got married, he was invited out for a night with the friends.
So Santa told his wife, Jeeto that he would be home by midnight.
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy, so at around 2.30 AM Santa was drunk as a skunk, and headed for home.
After about half an hour just as Santa got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly he realized she'd probably wake up, so he cuckooed another 9 times. Santa was really proud of himself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed.
Next morning his wife, Jeeto asked him what time he got in and he told her 12 o'clock.
She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock.
When Santa asked her why, Jeeto said, "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said 'oh crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted."

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight. .promise! Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight. . promise! Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2: 30 a. m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Just after I got married, I decided to have a night with "the boys." I told the misses that I would be home by midnight... promise! Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy, and at around 3 a. m. full as a boot, I went home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having the quick wittedness, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning the misses asked me what time I got in and I told her 12 o'clock. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said' shit,' cuckooed another 4 times, farted, cuckooed another 3 times, cleared its throat, and cuckooed twice then giggled."

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls" I told my husband that I would be home by midnight...."I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way to easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution especially since I was smashed, in order to avoid a conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh crap!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's more...

Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with the boys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight.. . I promise!

Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy and at around 3 am, full as a boot, I went home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started and cuckooed three times.

Quickly I realized she''d probably wake up, so I cuckooed another nine times and was really proud of myself for having the quick-wittedness, even when pissed, to escape a possible conflict.

Next morning the missus asked me what time I got in and I told her midnight.

Whew, got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why, she said,
' 'Well, at 3 am this morning, it cuckooed three times, paused, said bollocks, Cuckooed another four times, farted, cuckooed another three times, paused, cleared its throat and cuckooed twice, then giggled for over three more...