Crazed Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, okay?"
    Also Known As: Mr. Nice Guy, Family Man, Honey, Darling, Snugglepup
    Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
    Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
    Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
    Also Known As: Grumbles, Sour-Puss, Stick-in-the-Mud, Old Fogey, Jerk
    Advantages: Stays put; predictable
    Disadvantages: Pain in the butt
    Flinchy - "I-I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
    Also Known As: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
    Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
    Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
    Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin."
    Also Known As: Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, The Hulk
    Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
    Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
    Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
    Also Known more...

    McDonnell Douglas
    Aircraft/Space Systems/Missiles
    PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARD
    Dear Sir,
    Important! Important!
    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
    In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments
    to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
    survey questions is not required, but the information will help us
    to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. [ ]Mr.[ ]Mrs.[ ]Ms.[ ]Miss[ ]Lt.[ ]Gen.[ ]Comrade[ ]Classified
    First Name _______________ Initial ___ Last Name ____________
    Latitude ____________ Longitude ____________ Altitude _______
    Password, Code Names, Aliases, etc. ___________________________
    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    [ ] F-14 Tomcat [ ] F-15 Eagle
    [ ] F-16 Falcon [ ] F-19A Stealth
    [ ] Classified
    3. Date of purchase: more...

    What the world is like in TV land:
    1. If a women is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
    2. Your car will always start immedaitely unless you are being chased
    by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
    3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
    4. The suburbs are exciting.
    5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
    6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
    7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
    8. Good guys are always good looking.
    9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
    10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
    11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
    12. Court cases are all solved with a suprise witness.
    13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
    14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
    15. Everyone has a 'dark' secret.
    16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
    17. Haunted houses are never locked.
    18. The police are smart.
    19. more...

    What the world is like in TV land:
    1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
    2. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
    3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
    4. The suburbs are exciting.
    5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
    6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
    7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
    8. Good guys are always good looking.
    9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
    10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
    11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
    12. Court cases are all solved with a surprise witness.
    13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
    14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
    15. Everyone has a dark secret.
    16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
    17. Haunted houses are never locked.
    18. The police are smart.
    19. Good more...

    What the world is like in TV land:1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.2. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.4. The suburbs are exciting.5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.6. Good guys are always outnumbered.7. Good guys always win and get the girl.8. Good guys are always good looking.9. Ugly people are always bad guys.10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.12. Court cases are all solved with a surprise witness.13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.14. Cars will explode in all accidents.15. Everyone has a dark secret.16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.17. Haunted houses are never locked.18. The police are smart.19. Good guys will only get shot in the arm or leg.20. All Asian people know Karate.21. Murders will more...

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