Cop Jokes / Recent Jokes

A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. "Haven't I seen you in here many times already? And didn't I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?""Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in

Police refused to accept his "Get out of jail free" card.

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20. 00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin?"The driver said, "You buyin?"

...3 Napa Valley winery workers were arrested and charged with destroying a newly budding crop of a neighboring winery in order to increase the value of their wine. The 3 were charged with Statutory Grape.

Guarded transcripts of the White House "Beer Summit" were leaked this morning.
Reports indicate that after three beers, President Obama, Professor Gates and Sergeant Crowley found common ground by sharing Jewish jokes.

...Ken Repke was charged with assault for slugging a woman in the head because she refused to sell him Boardwalk & Park Place during a game of Monopoly. Repke was arrested, handcuffed, and taken directly to jail without passing Go & collecting $200.