Cop Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a man watching T.V. & he saw 3 commercials The first one said Yes! Yes! Yes! The second one said Forks & Knives! Forks & Knives! And the third one said Plug it in, Plug it in. Next the cops came and asked him if he had seen a girl that had been killed and if he killed her and, he said Yes! Yes! Yes! The cops asked him what he had killed her with and he said forks and knives! Forks and Knives! And the cops said that's it your'e getting the electric chair. And the guy said plug it in, plug it in.

My husband came home from work and told me he witnessed a fight between a Filipino man and a Black man. A cop showed up trying to figure out what was happening. The Black man said, "He called me a bastard". The Filipino man said "I didn't". So then the cop asked the Filipino man what happened and he said, "Dat man ass me where is Longs Drugs and all I told him was "You one blok bast-it (You one block past it).

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?"

A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?"The driver said, "You buyin'?"

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat"He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog". He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"

A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blond behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the cop rolled down his window and shouted "Pullover!". The blonde rolled down her window and yelled back "No, it's a scarf!".