Cop Jokes / Recent Jokes

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you`ll get`em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Valentine`s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you`d get the day off to go drinking. Mother`s Day too.
St. Patrick`s Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
Garbage would take itself out.
Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
Instead of "beer-belly", you`d get "beer-biceps".
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Two words..."Ally McNaked".
When a cop gave you a more...

Local activists were outraged when a Tempe, Arizona cable channel showed a white police officer telling two black men they could get out of a littering ticket by performing a rap.



The officer involved was suspended without pay but will appear next week as a guest host for Drew Carey on Whose Line Is It Anyway.

In a related story: Rodney King said to be considering move to Tempe.

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.
"So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

A report says that Internet crime went up 22% in 2009. It would have went up by 55%, but Craigslist was ruled an outlier.

The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window."I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding.
The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?"
The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."