Considering Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two men considering a religious vocation were having a conversation. "What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? " the one asked. The second replied, "Well, they were both founded by Spaniards -- St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy -- the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants." "What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?" "Met any Albigensians lately?"

    "Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests.' While we're doodling,' he points out,' he is making his getaway.'' Relax,' says the game-theorist policeman.' He's got to figure it out too, don't he?'"

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Farmer's Branch, Texas:Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now have an alternative to reading old magazines.William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage ceremony with any 30,000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs. For the $290 price of the inspection, he will throw in the cost of being married by the local justice of the peace, a $25 value.The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on the marriage. Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman, suggests, "Maybe the car will break down and the marriage won't." He says he hasn't seen anything like this stunt since his days as a practicing attorney, when a client asked him to draw up wills for employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas.Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he more...

    The political world was thrown into a frenzy today when Brett Favre announced that he's not only considering retiring from football but also considering running for President in 2008.

    With his dramatic announcement, Favre becomes the only political candidate to be considering two plans for the future at the same time.

    "This is just the kind of multi-tasking Americans expect from their next President," gushed political commentator James Carville on ABC's Meet the Press.

    Favre emphasized that he wanted to make a decision in time for Democrats to draft another candidate in the event he decided not to run. "Which means y'all will know my plans sometime around late September in 2008," said Favre.

    The Green Bay quarterback defended his decision to consider his decision to retire noting that he felt he still could perform at the professional level despite his advanced age and deteriorating skills and added, "Just like John more...

    An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, maam," said the manager smoothly. "After all, youve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"

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