Computerized Jokes

The world`s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.
The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world`s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong

Computerized Payroll January 1, 2005
Dear (enter employee name here)
Re: Vacation Pay
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off.
One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9, 400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay cheque will reflect payment of $8, 277, 432. 22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1, 200 months.
Sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing

The world`s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world`s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong. .. Nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong...."