Competition Jokes / Recent Jokes

It seems that historical religious leaders (between moments of dispensing wisdom) had also learned software programming.
One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day's event: Jesus and Mohammed.
The judge described the software application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines, classes, applets and applications flew on their screens at incredible speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon be finished.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashed and the power went out.
After a moment it came back on - just in time for the clock to indicate that the last competition was over.
The judge asked the two contestants to reveal their finished software. Mohammed angrily said more...

A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a very close match ensues. She turns out also to be a very talented golferand she wins their little competition on the last hole. He congratulates her in the car park then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning. On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. "In fact," she says, "I'd like you to pull over so I can show you how much I appreciated everything." He pulls over, they kiss and she shows him her appreciation... more...

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.
As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer buys one young cock from the market and puts it in the pen with the old cock and the hens…
Old Cock: Welcome to the farm.
We’ll work together towards productivity.
Young Cock: Whattya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old Cock: Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can’t I help you with some?
Young Cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old Cock: In this case, I challenge you to a competition and, if I win, you let me have one hen. If I lose you have them all.
Young Cock: Okay. What kind of competition?
Old Cock: 50-yard dash. From here to that tree.
But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 yards.
Young Cock: No problem! We race tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young Cock allows the Old Cock to start off and when the Old more...

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing
hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They
embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the
excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered,
"I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used
their arms."

In an interview with The Los Angeles Times, "American Idol" creator Simon Fuller has announced that the smash hit reality show will soon be adding a songwriting competition. Fuller hopes the talent will be better than in the, "Can you sleep with Paula Abdul and keep your mouth shut" competition that was added last year.

It seems that historical religious leaders (between moments of dispensing wisdom) had also learned software programming.
One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day's event: Jesus and Mohammed.
The judge described the software application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines, classes, applets and applications flew on their screens at incredible speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon be finished.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashed and the power went out.
After a moment it came back on - just in time for the clock to indicate that the last competition was over.
The judge asked the two contestants to reveal their finished software. Mohammed angrily said that he'd more...

Two barbershops were in red-hot competition. One put up a sign advertising haircuts for 7-dollars. His competitor put up one that read, "We repair 7-dollars hair cuts."