Burnt Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bubba died in a fire and his body was burnt pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician asked, “How can you tell? ” Gomer said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes. ” “What? He had two assholes? ” said the mortician. “Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Bubba with them two assholes. ’

    In a small town in the rural south, poor, fun-loving, good-ole'-boy
    Billy Bob died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad, and the morgue needed
    someone to identify the body. So, his two buddies, Jimmy Lee and Donnie Ray,
    went down to the morgue.
    Jimmy Lee went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Jimmy Lee said "Yep, he's burnt so bad, I can't tell from the front. Roll him over."
    So the mortician rolled him over. Jimmy Lee took one look at his ass and
    said "Hell no, that ain't Billy Bob."
    The mortician didn't say anything but thought that was kind of
    strange. Then he brought in Donnie Ray to identify. the body. Donnie Ray took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, rollhim over."
    The mortician rolled him over. Donnie Ray looked down at his ass and said
    "No, that ain't Billy Bob."
    The mortician said "How can you tell?" Donnie Ray said "Well, Billy Bob had two more...

    A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned that somebody would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George's two friends, Joe and Al.
    Joe: "He's burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over." Joe looked at the dead man's buttocks and said, "Nope, that ain't George."
    Thinking the incident strange, the mortician straightened up the body and said nothing. He brought in Al.
    Al: "Wow, he's burnt to a crisp. Roll him over." Again, "Nope, that ain't George."
    Mortician: "How can you tell?"
    Al: "George had two assholes."
    Mortician: "What? How could he have two assholes?"
    Al: "Everybody knew George had two assholes. Whenever the three of us would go into town you'd hear people say, "Here comes George with those two assholes!"

    Poor Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.
    Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem looked and said "Nope, ain't Clyde." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke to identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked down and said "No, it ain't Clyde."
    The mortician asked "How can you tell?" Zeke said, "Well, Clyde had two assholes." "What? He had two assholes?" said the mortician. Zeke said, "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say "Here comes Clyde with them two assholes."

    A redneck named Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.

    Clem went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
    Clem said, Yup, he's burnt real bad; but you'll have to roll him over if you want me to identify him."

    So the mortician rolled the corpse over and Clem looked and said, "Nope, it ain't Clyde."

    The mortician thought that was rather strange, but proceeded to bring in Zeke to identify the body. After the sheet was pulled back, Zeke took a look and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad; roll him over."
    So, again the mortician rolled the burnt corpse over, and Zeke looked down and said, "Nope, it ain't Clyde."

    Frustrated, the mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

    Zeke answered, "Well, Clyde had two assholes."
    "What!?" The disbelieving more...

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