Bond Jokes / Recent Jokes

a man goes in to a bar one night and spots a blond at the bar.
he goes up and says "hi the names bond"
the blond replies"ohhh dont tell me james bond"
the man says"no unibond i am here to fill your crack"...

(lick your finger and then touch her shirt). Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
I'm not sure if I'm gay. Will you help me find out?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
So, howzabout the two of us going back to my place and you run your fingers through the hair on my back?
Hi! Can I buy you a car?
Bond. James Bond.
Wasn't it you who pinched me in the third grade?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
(Hand out a card that says) "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and then watch them try and hold back their laughter.
(Again hand out a card that says) Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love and I don't even know your more...