Betty Jokes / Recent Jokes
The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. "Don't be to mad at Dave," a friend told her. "He did a terrific job. I'd be glad to have him usher at my wedding." "Yeah," Betty replied, "I wish he had been an usher at mine."
Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away. The funeral is set at 4: 50 for ten to fifteen minutes.
Little Johnny and his Dad were driving through town one day.
Johnny says, "You know Dad, I bet I have had sex with more women than you". His Dad was shocked that Johnny could possibly think this, so he says, "Son, there's no way! I've been on this earth 20 yrs longer than you have, there is no way you have been with more women than I have!".
Johnny replies, "Yep, Dad, I think I have." So his Dad thinks for a minute, "I tell you what, when we see a woman we've had sex with, we'll clap." Johnny says "o.k."
They continue down the street, Johnny says "Hey look, it's Betty Lou" (clap). His Dad looks, "Ya, I know Betty Lou" (clap).
"Look," says his dad, "There's Sally" (clap). Johnny says "I know Sally" (clap). "And there's Jenny" (clap). His dad looks, "Yes, I know Jenny" (clap).
So Johnnys dad says "Well, Son, I've got to hand it to you, you more...
One hot and humid summer day my blonde friend Betty decided to paint her bathroom. Thinking she could use a break, I picked up some cold sodas and sandwiches and went over to see how she was doing.
When I arrived there was Betty, dressed in her fur coat and ski jacket, painting away. I asked her why she would dress that way on such a hot day. That's when she brought me the paint can and told me to read the instructions, which I did.
It said... "For best results, put on two coats."
There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home' til I've been laid!!"Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock... 12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself."What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty."Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"