Belfry Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's more...

A new bellringer was needed for Notre Dame Cathedral to replace Quasimoto, the hunchback. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man, "Observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop ran down the long series of steps to the bottom of the cathedral, then rushed out to the man's side. more...

As sharp as a sack full of wet mice. -- Foghorn Leghorn

As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.

As smart as bait / an automatic email responder script.

As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.

As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)

As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.

As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.

Attic's a little dusty.

Back burners not fully operating.

Bad spot on the disk.

Baler done run out of twine.

Bandwidth limited.

Barney's his hero.

Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.

Bats in the belfry.

As sharp as a sack full of wet mice. - Foghorn Leghorn
As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
As smart as bait / an automatic email responder script.
As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)
As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.
As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
Attic’s a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Bad spot on the disk.
Baler done run out of twine.
Bandwidth limited.
Barney’s his hero.
Bats have flown the belfry, and now he’s all alone.
Bats in the belfry.

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent
word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The
bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went
up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided
to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced
that he was there to apply for the bellringers job.
The bishop was incredulous."You have no arms!" "No matter," said the
man, "observe!" He then began striking the bells with his face,
producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in
astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement
for Quasimodo.
Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and
plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street
below. The stunned more...